Lost
by JojotheObsessedFish
Summary: Read and find out! TEMPORARY HIATUS *BACK ON 15/11/13*
1. Chapter 1

**I know this is the same prologue as Lost in my Heart, but that is a shared story with SandieBrody which appears on both accounts. This is my own one, which begins the same way.**

**Disclaimer-I do not own or claim to own Avengers/any of it's characters/storylines.**

They tell me things, ask me questions, or just sit by me as if by being there they can help. I'm asked how I feel, and I shrug my shoulders, as if to say I don't know. But I do, and all I feel is blackness. It's like emptiness, only you know nothing will ever fill the space. Your whole world has become lost; colours muted, speech distorted, places and people a blur. The world has lost its brightness, its excitement, and I sit through every day the same way, with no interest at all. I try not to think about it, but all I can think of is the day when the world lost its appeal. I can't help but think of the day. After twenty years, a wonderful partnership and numerous near-death experiences. I had just proposed; she had just accepted. And then my world fell apart.

That was two months ago, and all I can think of is the day I lost Natasha Romanoff.

**Please R&R!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: It will mainly be Clintasha and my own characters. Thank you!**

Tasha POV:

I went two months ago, and the pain doesn't get any better.

Now all I can think about is the day I left him, the very mission where I broke Clint's heart. I wish I could have stayed, but Fury had an exteremly important mission for me.  
I had to go back to the Red Room.

_Two 1/2 months ago:_

_"Romanoff, you need to infiltrate Red Room again." Fury said to me as I sat unmoving in his office._

_I swallowed, hard. Why was he asking me to go back there? "Why?" I whispered._

_The significance of my action was not lost on him. "We need to make it look like you ditched us and want to willingly go back to them, because they have got information on a person of particular importance to us. Her name is Maria van der Huit."_

_Confident I knew where this was going, I replied, "She's been of interest to Red Room since before I defected, so roughly 25 years? Why do you want her now?"_

_"Level 9, Romanoff. However, we believe Red Room know where to find her, and we need that information. So you'll ditch Barton in the mission you're about to go on, and then return to Red Room. As soon as you have the info, contact me and I'll pull you out, personally if necessary. Understood?"_

_I nodded mutely, trying to process what I was being told._

_"Good. Then go Romanoff. And... good luck."_

_I got up and ran out before I said something stupid that would land me in a whole heap of bother._

* * *

_Landing in Amsterdam, I take one last look at Clint before I steel myself against the inevitable pain._

_He looks up, and catches my eye. "Ready?"_

_"Always."_

_We disembark, and as soon as I see our target I work out the perfect way to get rid of Clint. We are targeting Nikolai Rostislav, a Red Room assassin, so I can just get away faster than I'd hoped, and gain trust by saving his life at the same time._

_"Ready to kill?" I hear Clint say in my ear as I walk up to the target. "I'm on the top of the building immediately to your left."_

_Almost instantly, I turn around and shoot wildly at the target._

_"Tasha, what the- Look, I'm going to have to take the shot, Tasha!"_

_I run, and yell "Nikolai! Look out!"_

_He sees me, and shock is evident on his face as I plow into him and take Clint's bullet in my leg._

_"Tasha!"Clint's voice is frantic. "What the hell are you doing?"_

_"I hate you!" I growl down the comm. "I'm fed up of you, and S.H.I.E.L.D. and of being told what to do! I HATE YOU!" And with that, I remove my comm, and smash it to the floor._

_"Natalia Romanova?" I nodded, shaken by what I just did to Clint. "It's really you, isn't it?" I nod again. "Come on. They all want you back because we need you and your incredible talents! Please?"_

_I see Nikolai outstretch his hand, and, after a moment's hesitation, I take it. I can feel Clint's eyes burning with sadness on me, but I turn and run as though I never really cared._

Now, I tense up as Nikolai comes towards me in the Red Room HQ.

"You always loved him."

It was a statement, not a question, so I hesitantly nod.

"Sorry, Natalia, but you can't stay here."

What does he mean?

"We do need you back, but completely uncompromised, and we know about Fury's mission for you, so..."

He trails off, and before I know it there is a sharp sensation in the back of my neck.

"What?" is all I can say before I hit the ground, unconcious.

**Thank you to everyone who reviews (hint hint) and a very large THANK YOU to Random007 who has provided me with the next chapter!**

**See you next time**

**JojotheObsessedFish**


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